


Between the Lines

by shutupeccles



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Humor, Horror, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2012-12-02
Packaged: 2017-11-20 02:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/580094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupeccles/pseuds/shutupeccles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus had difficulty explaining his history to Sirius until Sirius suggested he write it down. Remus expressed himself in fairy tale form, using blood magic to include snippets of memory so Sirius would see the full story. He never expected another Black to pick up the book.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between the Lines

**Author's Note:**

> Traditional fairy tales have dark origins which became milder with each retelling. I aim to mimic this by combining the ‘truth’ of how Remus became a werewolf with a sanitised version. ‘Actual’ events have normal margins, fairy tale in block quotes.

Andromeda opened her dead son-in-law’s tattered old suitcase and found several notebooks neatly stacked, wrapped in plain brown paper and tied together with string. A carefully folded note was tucked beneath the knot: _For Teddy, when he’s old enough_. Andromeda expected something along the lines of ‘Good Grooming Habits for the Adolescent Werewolf’ and was surprised to discover Remus Lupin had been a writer of fairy tales. Each collection had been dedicated with love to his son, Teddy. The slimmest notebook contained a single story. ‘Chocolate Werewolf’ was dedicated to _Harry, Lily and James but mostly Sirius_ and tingled in Andromeda’s hands.

“Reveal your secret,” she commanded. She didn’t need a compendium to translate the runes that appeared above the title: _black blood reads between the lines_. Her finger lingered over the name of her dead cousin and a faint echo travelled from fingertip to ear. Was her blood Black enough? She pricked her thumb and touched the wound to paper. A moving illustration of two teenage boys slowly appeared beneath the dedication. A black-haired youth tossed a Muggle notebook at a brown-haired boy’s chest. A speech bubble appeared above black-hair’s head. A jumble of letters tumbled into the bubble before becoming words.

“…write it down. I’ll never understand you Remus unless you comm-un-i-cate.” Exaggerated hand gestures provided further emphasis. This behaviour was typically Sirius. Andromeda smiled through her grief as the bubble drifted across the page to float over Remus. Excess letters dissolved through the bubble’s floor and a couple of new ones fell in through the top to form his reply.

“It isn’t pleasant Sirius.”

“The best stories never are.” Sirius offered Remus a Muggle biro. Remus hesitated then took the pen and began to write. Sirius sat on the bed beside him and ruffled his friend’s hair. The picture faded on their smiles.

Andromeda tucked ‘Chocolate Werewolf’ under her arm and put Lupin’s case with Nymphadora’s belongings. What better way for Teddy to understand his origins than through an autobiographical fairy tale with actual memories imprinted behind the words? By reading it herself, Andromeda hoped to understand why her daughter insisted on marrying this werewolf.

* * *

 

> #### Chocolate Werewolf
> 
> There was once a boy who forgot not to talk to strangers. He had a regrettably ironic name and an ordinary family. He went to a normal kindergarten where young witches, wizards and Muggles played together without prejudice. The boy’s life was entirely ordinary and boring, and so was he.
> 
> But the stranger didn’t think so.
> 
> “Hello. Aren’t you a sweet thing?” the stranger asked the boy.
> 
> The boy said no and hurried inside to play. The stranger hid from the teachers and never spoke to the other children, only watched until the boring boy came outside to play. “Would you like a sweetie?” he asked.
> 
> “No,” said the boy and again ran inside.
> 
> The next day the stranger addressed the boy by name. “You like chocolate don’t you,” said the stranger smoothly. The boy said yes and sealed his fate.
> 
> Every day the stranger brought chocolates for the boy. The boy received bigger treats the more he talked. One day the foolish boy asked “Who are you?”
> 
> The stranger gave a toothy grin that belonged in a scary book but the boy was too full of chocolate to be properly afraid. “I’m your uncle.”
> 
> “Never heard of you,” said the boy and ate another chocolate.
> 
> “Your parents and I had a big fight before you were born. I have to sneak around to meet my own nephew. Isn’t that sad?”
> 
> Yes it was, thought the boy. It was also a terrible lie. The boy did not know that so he let the stranger touch his hair through the fence and resealed his fate. The stranger walked in through the front gate the next day. “Your parents have been in a dreadful accident and asked me to look after you.” He was a bit twitchy and scratchy and his eyes were unusually red. It might be because he’d heard the worst news of his life but the boy felt something else was wrong with the stranger.
> 
> “So you made up then?” the boy asked to test. The stranger nodded, gave him another chocolate, and held out his hand. The stupid boy accepted it all.
> 
> He became tired very quickly as they walked to a small and rather broken old house. The stranger picked up the boy to carry him—and sniffed him. It tickled.
> 
> “You’re weird,” the boy chortled sleepily.
> 
> “Oh my tasty morsel, you have no idea.”
> 
> “Your house stinks.”
> 
> “Yeah well I’ve spent all my time looking for you haven’t I.” A hint of growl seeped through the stranger’s usually smooth voice. “Shut up and sleep chocolate boy. I’ve got a special surprise for you later on.”
> 
> The stranger’s words became part of a murky dream. The boy snored and woke to darkness.

Something poked the squishy part below his ribs. Remus whined and rolled over. The wooden stick poked him again. “Wakey, wakey chocolate boy, I didn’t go to the trouble of bringing you here to let you sleep through the fun part.”

The word fun worked its magic. Remus sat up with a smile and rubbed his drowsy eyes into wakefulness only to scrabble into a corner and scrunch his eyes closed again. The room was dark but he could tell Greyback was naked. A sharp, crunchy laugh tumbled across the floor like playing jacks on autumn leaves. “Come here, sweet Remus. See what I’ve got for you.”

Remus huddled into a ball and screamed.

> The moon rose but its light brought no comfort. It made the stranger’s skin glow as the stranger changed into a hideous, snarling, vicious beast. The boy was too scared and still too sleepy to run when the horrifying creature howled. Teeth and claws tore at the boy’s soft skin.
> 
> “Help! Help!” yelled the boy, but no-one came.
> 
> “Yum, yum,” said the monster and kept scratching and biting.
> 
> “Help, help,” sobbed the boy.
> 
> The wall behind him disappeared and someone bellowed “Stupefy!” The monster fell to the floor with a whack, thwack, thud! Heroes had arrived.

“What is that thing?!” Mum yelled.

“Werewolf,” Dad explained while carefully bundling Remus into his arms.

“You mean they’re real?” Mum asked.

“Everything’s real.” Dad said it bluntly, although Remus could hear Dad’s heart beat wildly against his ear.

“Oh god.” Mum sounded weak and far away. Remus squirmed to try and run to her but his father kept a careful hold on him.

“Remus, Remus honey, it’s alright. Daddy and Mummy are here.”

“Now what?” Mum asked.

“Hold my arm and we take him to hospital, a magical one.”

“ **That** , John!” Mum pointed savagely at the werewolf. “In our legends… Is our son going to become **that**?”

“Not if we’re careful. Hurry, you can argue with me all you want once the healers are taking care of Remus but not before.”

“Our beautiful little boy.” Mum’s sad voice accompanied the sad, tender hand cupping the back of Remus’ savaged head. She must have felt the blood matting his hair.

“I know,” Dad said with sympathetic sorrow. Then everything turned inside out. The disorienting pain made Remus howl.

> The heroes were in fact the boy’s parents. They had been looking for their son. The boy cried because he’d been tricked. There had been no accident, only lies and chocolate. He cried because the bites and scratches hurt. He continued crying because his bones and even his blood screamed in pain and it was his fault his parents were crying too.
> 
> The worst of his anguish and agony shrunk with the moon only to grow back each time the moon became fat.

His parents took him to a secure room in St Mungo’s for his first transition. The survival rate of prepubescent newly turned was one-tenth the already low rate for adults. Five year old Remus was sedated then chained to a bed before the change began. Within eleven hours Remus had broken his bonds, demolished the bed and almost torn his left leg off. It took ten days for three healers and an Auror to put him right. Remus had no memory of the event, only scars.

> The boy was now a werewolf and became a ravenous monster whenever the moon hung full in the sky. It didn’t matter whether it was night or day, cloudy or fine. His family left town for a small village and then moved on to a house with no neighbours so no one would suspect the horrible truth about their moon-afflicted child and he could not hurt anyone. The family of three lived lonely and afraid. The older he got, the more the boy worried that he would accidentally kill his parents. Worse yet, he might make them into monsters like him. Nothing horrified him more.
> 
> He remembered little of the boring ordinary life he led before, yet missed it more with each passing moon.
> 
> One day a great wizard came to their lonely home. He touched the boy’s hair like the child was special. Unlike the first stranger, the great wizard was genuinely sad.
> 
> “Your son must come to my castle once he turns eleven,” the great wizard told the boy’s parents. They cuddled the boy close and said no, never. “He is a wizard,” said the great wizard.
> 
> “He is a werewolf,” they replied bitterly.
> 
> The great wizard lifted the boy’s chin so all three adults could see into his worried brown eyes and the boy could see theirs. “He is a child first, a wizard second, and a werewolf third. I am tired of losing children to the Darkness. Let me help your son live in the Light.”

“…Remus will experience friendship and love as every child deserves.” Professor Dumbledore made it sound as though such things were part of Hogwarts curriculum.

“You can’t promise that,” Mum said angrily and clutched Remus protectively to her chest.

“Actually I can.” Dumbledore began to sit and a chair slid across the floor just in time to catch his bottom. “There is a boy of your son’s age who has equal need of such mundane niceties.”

“Is this boy a werewolf too?” Mum asked.

“No, a Black,” Dumbledore replied blandly.

“Even worse,” Dad declared.

“You are familiar with the Blacks?” Dumbledore enquired with a polite smile.

“More familiar than I care to be.”

“Young Sirius shares your sentiment, I assure you. He’s a clever rascal,” Dumbledore added for Remus’ benefit. This smile bordered on cheeky.

“I don’t want a pity friend,” Remus said boldly.

Dumbledore was pleased by this outburst rather than offended. “Nor should you, nor should you. I simply hope to find two rather talented yet incredibly lonely young wizards some mutual moral support. Since you are set against such interference, I will not introduce the two of you. If my instincts prove wrong, which happens on rare occasion, I shall return to this house on Christmas Eve dressed as Father Christmas and behave as your family’s house-elf until Boxing Day.”

Remus and Mum looked to Dad. “Our what?”

“I’ll explain later. Professor, no-one else in my family has magic and you saw my OWL results. I’m borderline squib!”

“You have magic enough to save your son.” Dumbledore gestured with a flat palm to Remus.

“I’ve watched Remus closely since, well, before he was born and there’s been no sign…”

“But have you **listened** John? Apart from that once when he called out for help…”

“That was my magic.” Dad sounded uncertain. Dumbledore didn’t believe it either.

“No, it wasn’t. I read your account of events from every possible angle and quite a few impossible ones. The blue light you say carried your son’s terrified voice through the darkness to stop directly in front of your heart, how you stepped into the light and apparated to precisely where he was! **Remus** called **you**. Your love for each other made the connection possible. Here, I have proof.” Dumbledore held a shiny silver tube in his hand.

“A cigarette lighter?” Mum scoffed.

“A Deluminator. I invented it after analysing the phenomenon…”

Remus interrupted. “What does it do?”

“If your father would go outside for a moment, I can show you.”

Dad did and Dumbledore let Remus hold the Deluminator. He showed him how to click it on and off. “It has a more effective visual effect at night I assure you. Now John,” Dumbledore called loudly. “Say your son’s name quietly and put all the love you feel for him into it.” Dumbledore’s hand stayed on the device. “When you hear your name, click.”

Mum also heard Dad’s voice whispering ‘Remus’ from the tube. Remus clicked and a blue light appeared. Dumbledore told him not to walk into it since he was too young to apparate. “Swap places with your father and quietly call Mummy.”

“But I’m a muggy, moggy… what am I love?” Mum called to Dad as he came back in.

“Muggle,” Dad replied with a mildly amused wink for Remus.

“Yeah.”

“If I’ve understood and applied the principles properly, that should make no difference. I believe love to be the most powerful force in existence. Whether it is a magical power or not, we are yet to discover.”

Mum’s eyes were wide with awe when she appeared with a ‘pop’ beside Remus. She immediately knelt beside him and framed his face with both hands as though he was a miracle. “I heard you. Not only in the clicky-thing but here,” Mum said softly and touched her heart. “I felt you calling me and then I stepped into the light and—that bit was just as horrible as when Daddy moved us by magic and I never want to do that again—but here I am!” Her smile was enormous and her eyes filled with tears of pride. “You called us for help and Daddy found you without a clicky-thing.” Mum cuddled Remus close to her chest and kissed his cheek. Normally Remus would protest that this sort of display was embarrassing for a ten year old, except he hadn’t felt this warm and safe since before... before Greyback. He sobbed against his mother. “My darling boy, you have magic!” Mum said with wonder. Better than that, Remus thought, he had his parents’ love.

“Ha, it works!” Dumbledore exclaimed quite humbly as Remus and Mum walked into view.

Mum’s admiration increased as Dumbledore listed precautions intended to keep Remus and his fellow students safe every full moon.

“Did you go to this school?” Mum quietly asked Dad. Dad nodded. “Do you trust that this Professor Bumble-door has our son’s best interests at heart?” Dad nodded again. Mum knelt beside Remus and put a hand on his shoulder. “Would you like to go to Hogwarts, Remus?”

Remus saw happy gratitude in every feature of his father’s face as Dad reached for Mum’s hand and whispered ‘love you’ to her. Remus nodded eagerly. Hogwarts sounded brilliant.

> The great wizard showed the boy and his parents many wonders to prove he could protect and educate the young wizard-werewolf. The family agreed that the son should go.
> 
> Turning eleven meant he had been a werewolf longer than he’d been a boy. He didn’t feel like a boy at all anymore. That didn’t stop his excitement when the great wizard took him to live in a marvellous castle where paintings talked and moved around, candles floated in the air and food magically appeared on plates. A hundred other children lived there, teachers too, and all of them could do magic.

The first day of school was too close to a full moon for Remus to catch the smashing red steam engine Dad told him about. Professor Dumbledore came to transport him personally by side-along apparition.

“That’s how Dad took me from Greyback’s house to St Mungo’s,” Remus told Dumbledore when they arrived. His legs were shaking and he promptly threw up.

“It’s not everyone’s favourite way to travel,” Dumbledore admitted drily as he opened the gates to Hogwarts.

Remus stopped following after a few steps. The castle was still far away and it was HUGE. “Can I have all my lessons in that full moon house you built for me?” he asked in a small, choked voice. He wanted to go home.

> The young werewolf had lived without neighbours for six years and never ventured further than the letterbox without at least one parent by his side. The great wizard was the first new person he’d spoken to in years. Now he would be surrounded by people. Suddenly he was afraid. The great wizard heard the knocking of the young werewolf’s knees and turned to stare.
> 
> “You are a boy, a wizard like any other here.” The great wizard spoke sternly and raised a hand to stop the werewolf interrupting. “Do you think you are the only person in the world that’s had something horrible happen to them? Are you the only one who wishes he’d been more sensible or that he was someone else entirely?” The blue fire in his eyes became less cold and raging as he placed a comforting hand on the werewolf’s shoulder. “These are questions I ask myself every day. But I also ask: _doesn’t everyone deserve a chance to become something more, to find happiness?_ ” The great wizard gave the werewolf a fatherly pat on the back and took him up lots of stairs to a room in the second tallest tower.
> 
> There were four beds, each surrounded by red and gold patterned curtains. The thought of sharing a room with three other wizards his age terrified the young werewolf.

“This bed closest to the door seems to be yours, judging by the mess your roommates made of it,” Dumbledore noted wryly. He sat among the clutter and prodded various objects with his wand. Socks, books and sweet wrappers sorted themselves into trunks at the end of the other beds. One or two items disappeared into Dumbledore’s pocket. “Contraband,” he explained. “Unlike you, thievery is not accepted at Hogwarts. Feel free to turn me in if Messrs Potter, Pettigrew and Black complain about my tidy up. They know you’re coming of course, hence the welcoming pile of fetid socks upon your pillow.”

Remus found it difficult to smile back.

> “Do I have to tell them I’m a werewolf?” he asked hoarsely. “Or do they already know?”
> 
> “No, no, although I’m sure one or two will figure it out in time.”
> 
> “What then? Will I have to eat them before they tell anyone?”
> 
> The great wizard’s eyebrow went up and he seemed to grow very tall. “Do you **want** to eat someone?”
> 
> The boy couldn’t think of anything more horrid and said so.
> 
> “Good. Off you go.”
> 
> Life in the great wizard’s castle was not the adventurous opportunity the boy had imagined before leaving home. He wandered aloofly alone through the castle full of people. Some of them tried being nice to him but he was too scared of revealing his secret horror to be nice back. His roommates were a trio of rascals who subtly tangled him in their webs of mischief when he couldn’t manage to escape in time. He enjoyed their company and felt trapped between his werewolf instinct to seek solitude and the human need to socialise. Their marauding antics attracted far too much attention for him to remain safely anonymous. His time of change became a source of relief since he didn’t have to think.
> 
> He sat under a tree, trying to prevent the weight of disappointment and fear reducing him to tears. His most mischievous roommate flopped down beside him.
> 
> “How long have you been a werewolf?”

Sirius asked with quiet nonchalance. He played with leaves growing on the tree instead of looking at Remus, as though this was the second most boring conversation of their acquaintance. “Were you born that way or did you have to be attacked?”

“I wasn’t born this way,” Remus admitted. He didn’t know what else to say. Sirius slapped the back of one hand against Remus’ thigh, hard enough to make Remus look at him but not enough to hurt.

“Just so you know, **Moony** , it doesn’t matter how it happened. It’ll take a lot more than what ails you to stop us being your friends. You don’t have to hide.”

Remus hadn’t known James, Sirius and Peter saw him as more than a strange and secretive roommate. “Honestly, comedic wits Potter and Black came up with nothing better than ‘Moony’?” he teased to test this theoretical friendship.

“We can stick with ‘loony, loopy Lupin’ if you like,” Sirius teased back.

> His roommates had deduced the truth after the third full moon. Rather than fearing he may try to eat one of them, they worried that he didn’t confide because he didn’t like them.

“The werewolf thing is the reason you try to avoid us, yeah? Not because you think we’re obnoxious, bullying, egotists or something?” James asked while preparing for bed that night.

“Bit of both,” Remus admitted. They were being honest with him so he saw no reason to lie. “Mostly the werewolf thing, but you and Sirius do tend to be utter bastards if you don’t like someone.”

“We like you.” Sirius stated boldly. “Even when it’s not a full moon,” he added with a grin. James and Peter grinned along comfortably. Sirius winked at Remus before offering to share his beetroot crisps. Remus accepted with a smile and snapped an edge off a crisp with his teeth. Sirius smiled at Remus the way he smiled with Peter and James. Remus felt as though the sun could melt the moon and make everything alright. He had friends!

> The Marauders named the werewolf ‘Moony’ and involved him in their antics, not to cause him trouble but because they wanted him in their pack. Moony explained that werewolves were mostly solitary creatures but he was willing to be an exception. The three Marauders smiled and called him friend. ‘Exceptional’ became the Marauders’ favourite adjective and they would exclaim it in sarcastic harmony whenever their teachers praised rival student, Serpent. The majority of Serpent’s friends served the Darkness but there was one who shone as a source of Light. Even Moony wondered why the witch named Flower chose Serpent for a best friend.
> 
> “Serpent encouraged me to be myself when everyone else told me to hide. You should be our friend,” Flower told Moony. “You aren’t like those awful Marauders.”
> 
> “Those awful Marauders protect me from the Darkness lurking in my heart.”
> 
> Flower pondered Moony’s words. “Then they truly are friends.”
> 
> Moony watched Serpent lift his head and smile as Flower called his name. Moony saw that Flower hoped to protect Serpent from the Darkness, and couldn’t help but admire her. Moony’s friends admired Flower too. One admired her more than the others and by their fifth year in the castle this friend had fallen in love with Flower. Moony was jealous. Not because Moony loved Flower, or the friend, but because werewolves could not experience love like ordinary people. So the books said. Despite his parents and the great wizard saying otherwise, Moony believed it was impossible. And yet, another Marauder attracted an increasing proportion of Moony’s attention.

The way Sirius winked while smiling created an astonishing star-like dimple beneath his left eye. Common room discussion centred on the significant role of dimples in human reproduction, so Remus mentioned it to Lily.

“Really?” she replied with an odd frown in Sirius’ direction. “I hadn’t noticed.” For the next few days Lily watched Sirius closer than she’d cared to observe him for the past five years. She took Remus aside. “You’re right you know, about Black’s sexy dimple.”

“I didn’t describe it as sexy…”

“Well it is. All the girls in our year agree. I’ll spare you the details of how aroused it gets them.”

Remus grimaced. “Thanks.”

Lily thwarted his attempt to escape by nervously tapping his shoulder. Her facial expression wavered between determined and doubtful. Lily hated insulting people who hadn’t earned it.

“What?” he asked as glibly as he could manage.

Now Lily couldn’t decide whether to smile, grimace or frown and somehow combined all three, which did not bode well. “Sirius seems to be, I could be wrong, but since that particular dimple only appears when you’re watching him while he’s looking at you. I’m pretty sure he’s gay—for you. **Not** sure whether to say sorry or…” Lily looked at him frankly. “Definitely not sorry then, although I am. You don’t have to settle for the likes of Sirius Black.”

“He doesn’t have to settle for something like me,” Remus grumbled miserably. Too late he realised his mistake.

Lily asked quietly. “Why do they call you Moony?”

“Because he’s as moody as a woman on her monthlies,” James swept between them to declare. Lily called James a tosser before flouncing away. Sirius bounded into her vacated airspace and roughly poked Remus in the shoulder. There was no sign of sexy star-like dimple as he glared at Remus.

“You’re too friendly with Evans.”

“You’re not friendly enough,” Remus retorted.

“Nothing to worry about Black,” James said cheerfully. “Moony doesn’t like her. Not like that.” James lowered his voice to murmur in Sirius’ ear but Remus could still hear. “He likes **you** mate. Stop farting about and...” Sirius told James to piss off and suddenly decided to be somewhere else. James feigned a smile and shrugged at Remus. “Children of today are far too sensitive.”

“I like him, but…”

“Your furry little problem forbids it like the Victorian Muggle law against speaking Welsh.”

James must seriously fancy Lily to remember crap like that and use it in conversation. Remus kind of hoped James and Lily were right about him and Sirius. Mostly he was scared. Sirius was his first friend. Despite appearances that James led their social group, Sirius was the true heart and soul of the Marauders. If Sirius stopped liking Remus then Hogwarts would become hell.

> The boldest Marauder was said to be very handsome, but Moony didn’t see it. He saw an abundance of ability with a deficit of common sense and a sharp wit completely devoid of conscience. He saw misapplied genius, shrewd eyes and a rebel to the core. This blackest of rapscallions had an oversized ego, but his heart was larger still and surprisingly fragile. Moony had begun falling in love with one of his friends. As luck would have it, this friend began loving him back.

Sirius took it upon himself to teach Remus to dance “since Evans insists you escort her to this fundraising ball you prefects are hosting. McGonagall will pitch a tartan fit if you make a hash of it.”

Close physical contact between friends who’d developed a mutual attraction made them incredibly nervous about touching and they focussed more on making it seem like they **weren’t** attracted to each other than on the actual dance steps. Other Gryffindors in the common room constantly fell about laughing at their clumsy efforts. Peter and James laughed hardest of all. Remus and Sirius reluctantly decided to practice alone in their dorm, which only made them more nervous.

“This is ridiculous,” Sirius muttered and softly kissed Remus on the mouth. Remus turned his head to the side and put distance between their bodies although his feet remained still. Sirius pulled his hands away and Remus panicked.

“Sirius,” he whispered while taking his friend’s hand again and folding their fingers together. He was about to explain when Peter and James came in and saw their joined hands.

“What in Merlin’s underpants is happening here?” Peter exclaimed while James grinned at Sirius and gave him the thumbs up.

Remus removed his hand. Sirius scowled at him. Remus shook his head and stepped further away. Being in love with Sirius was fine, he could accept that. Acting on it was not.

James detected a potential flight of the werewolf and stood against the door. His hand touched his wand. “Don’t dick him around Moony.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s a Ministry edict: of dicking between werewolf and wizard there shall be none!” Peter declared.

“Note it made no mention of kissing,” Sirius countered with cheeky confidence.

Remus reluctantly agreed with Peter. “Be serious Sirius. I’m not an actual person.”

“According to whom, mindless Ministry nobs?” asked James. “And why? Think you’re the only one who turns into an animal? Show him Sirius.”

Peter’s eyes were wide with excited admiration. Sirius looked Remus directly in the eye—and became the Grim!

Remus stared in wonder as the Grim padded toward him. Sirius appeared every bit as comfortable in this canine skin as in his gorgeous natural form. “Amazing,” Remus declared softly and continued to stare as the Grim’s head nudged his elbow.

James rubbed at the Grim’s fur with proud enthusiasm. “Isn’t he brilliant, Moony?”

Sirius wagged his tail and Peter patted him too. All three looked at Moony with anticipation. Remus knelt on the floor and also buried his fingers deep in Sirius’ thick black coat.

“We’re almost there James and I,” Peter boasted.

“You’re all doing this?” Remus was astonished.

Peter nodded. “Remember Third Year DADA? Werewolves only attack humans, not animals. Each form is unique to the animagus so we can’t all be a Grim. James is a stag and keeps fussing over his antlers. I’m, I’m a rat.” Peter sounded disappointed.

“Which is entirely practical since you’re small enough to nick off for help without attracting attention,” Sirius said as he became Sirius again. Remus’ fingers remained snared in his curly black hair.

“You’re all amazing!” Remus exclaimed. He couldn’t stop looking at Sirius or touching his hair. “You’re amazing,” he told Sirius with heartfelt gratitude and then kissed him the same way.

“Verbal praise will be sufficient for me and Peter thanks Moony,” quipped James.

> In other tales a first kiss heralds the Happily Ever After ending. But there’s a reason legends portray werewolves as mindless creatures intent on ruining the innocent, and never the romantic hero.
> 
> Moony’s friends developed disguises so they could keep him company without being eaten when the moon made him change. Inside their disguises Stag, Dog and Rat still thought and behaved like Stag, Dog and Rat. Moony’s change was more drastic than that. When he became a werewolf he stopped thinking like a wizard entirely. Moony would rather be lonely again than risk hurting Dog and ended their glorious romance with great reluctance. Dog did not understand.

“You shit me Remus.” Sirius checked his hair and shirt collar in the small mirror he used to talk to James during detention. “You love me enough to get jealous when someone else shows interest but not enough to go out with me yourself. I moved in with Prongs to escape my maniacal mother’s manipulations. I’m not consigning myself to yours.”

Remus tried not to mope. Yes he’d told Sirius to date proper people instead of monsters. That didn’t mean Sirius had to do it in front of him! And did Sirius have to sound so offended? He had a lifetime of opportunities to fall in love and be kissed. Remus had already experienced more than he should have. Letting Sirius roam free shouldn’t hurt like this. Thank Merlin school would be finished soon and Remus could stop pretending he had a place in society. Tension, heartache and all round misery became tears once Sirius left the dorm looking typically, vitally gorgeous. His sobs must have been embarrassingly loud because he didn’t hear Sirius return. The invisibility cloak pooled in Remus’ lap to reveal Sirius’ subterfuge, Padfoot hadn’t left.

Sirius deliberately left a gap when he sat on the floor beside Remus. “Do you believe Prongs is actually over Evans?” he asked. Remus snorted snottily. “So what makes you think I’d trawl the castle corridors looking to get laid when I come home to you every day of term?”

“The eighteen point two dates you’ve been on since we broke up.”

“You mean the eighteen point two times me and Prongs nicked off to the Broomsticks to scoff butterbeer and figuratively cry on each other’s shoulders? Ask Rosmerta, check. We’re pathetic.”

Remus ached to close the gap between them and fold their fingers together like they had for the shortest, most emotionally chaotic time of his life. He silently wrung his hands instead. Eventually he asked his hands if the animagus transformation worked in reverse.

“Pardon?” Sirius asked.

“Can magical animals learn to shift shape?” Remus asked him directly.

“Never thought of it.”

“If I could learn to do what you, Wormtail and Prongs do, then maybe I could stay a person …Except I couldn’t, could I? The werewolf’s mind would be in control of the human shape and I’d most likely kill myself.” Remus found that premise less repugnant lately. He was in every shape detestable.

Sirius leaned his head back against the bed to look at Remus. The air throbbed between them, filled with potential kisses that would never be more than abstract fantasy. Sirius dragged Remus across the gap and cuddled him painfully close. “Then make me like you.”

Remus pushed him away and hastily climbed up on the bed. To his horror Sirius followed and tried to persuade him.

“…I can become Padfoot before you do any unnecessary damage.”

“There is no **necessary** damage Sirius!”

“You won’t have to be completely phased.”

“Where is this idiocy coming from? You’ve been reading cross-species romances from the Restricted Section!”

“Only the werewolf ones!”

They both blushed furiously and Remus tried to salvage some dignity for them both. “I can’t begin to tell you how very, very, thoroughly, entirely inaccurate those stories are.”

“You know this stuff first hand.” Sirius opened his trunk and tossed a notebook at Remus’ chest. “So write it down. I’ll never understand you Remus unless you comm-un-i-cate.” Exaggerated hand gestures provided further emphasis.

“It isn’t pleasant Sirius.”

“The best stories never are.” Sirius offered Remus a biro. Remus hesitated then took it and began to write. Sirius sat on the bed beside him and ruffled his hair. Remus smiled and Sirius smiled back.

“I love you Sirius.”

“That’s all I need to hear Remus.”

Remus kissed Sirius on the cheek, then the lips. Sirius kissed him back with tightly bridled passion. The biro slipped from Remus’ fingers as he caught hold of Sirius’ hair and their kisses became warmer and more open. He rolled back so Sirius lay on top of him. Remus gave in to love and lust, because this was Sirius.

> Although happy to be in love, Dog and Moony argued about whether being together was right. Rat said it certainly wasn’t proper.
> 
> “Love is our greatest weapon against the Darkness,” said Stag with sincerity. “Whoever wrote that werewolves are Dark creatures didn’t meet you, Moony. Dog is my best friend. I wouldn’t entrust his heart to anyone but you.”
> 
> Flower overheard and saw the light shining in Stag’s soul. She added her voice to the debate. “Darkness is casting these doubts. Forget the reasons you shouldn’t love Dog and remember why you do. He strives to make you strong. Listen and accept him, as he does for you.”

James frowned at Lily. “But you hate Sirius.”

“Black can’t be a complete tool if he loves Remus. I may have misjudged him.” Lily’s sharp delivery couldn’t mask her mellowed opinion of James. James urged his friends to follow Lily’s advice but didn’t push his luck by asking her out again.

> Moony and Dog accepted things as they were and continued building their love around every obstacle. Dog’s family were servants to the Darkness and would punish any witch, wizard or Muggle that offered Dog work. Moony could not keep a job for more than two moons. Stag took them in. At first there was little difference between sharing a room in the great wizard’s castle and sharing Stag’s house. Then Moony and Dog began sharing one room and one bed in Stag’s house. They watched Flower’s new perception of Stag grow into love and attended the wedding of Stag to his beloved Flower. In time this union created a child. Dog and Moony were happy for their wedded friends but often felt like intruders. Darkness seeped between the brighter moments to make them envious and afraid. Moony and Dog could not find security in a celebrated marriage or afford to live anywhere else. Dog insisted becoming a werewolf like Moony was the only way to stop the Darkness dividing them and eating them alive.

Sirius held Remus close beneath their blankets as they drifted off to sleep. He always waited until they were too exhausted to fight before starting this conversation. “It won’t matter where we live then. We can frolic naked through isolated woods in summer. Perhaps Dumbledore can be persuaded to let us keep using the Shrieking Shack.”

“Perhaps,” Remus said softly. He didn’t want to crush Sirius’ optimism, some days it was all that held either of them together. “I’ll think about it,” he promised. “But you have to read that notebook first.”

> Moony’s heart was tearing and he could not decide on his own. Stag was Dog’s best friend, so Moony sought his advice first.
> 
> “Dog is too impulsive to mean that and too proud to take it back. Your hearts are already the same,” replied Stag. “That is enough. Dog will see.”
> 
> Moony told Dog what Stag had said. Dog was displeased. “Stag has a son now and sees nothing but happiness and hope. He is blind to our pain.”
> 
> So Moony asked Rat. “Rat, should I make Dog what I am?”
> 
> Rat called Moony foolish and selfish. “Simply nod your head and say ‘next time’ if he asks again.”
> 
> “Not yet,” Moony told Dog each time the moon grew fat.
> 
> Dog growled angrily then pounced on Moony and bared his teeth. “Always you say not yet. You do not love me as I love you. Merely keep me as a pet to stop you feeling lonely!”
> 
> Moony loved Dog deeply, entirely. The werewolf liked Dog, possibly. Moony could not remember the werewolf’s thoughts and feelings, nor could the werewolf recall Moony’s. He became even more distressed. Would Darkness distort their love like the stranger mangled the boring boy?
> 
> Moony consulted their wisest and most loving friend of all. “Flower, Dog wishes to become as I am and will not believe I love him unless I grant him this wish.”
> 
> “Who will attend him when the moon is full, as he attends you? I have no disguise so I cannot. Rat is too small to care for two and Stag is shielding our son from the Darkness. Besides, Dog may hate you for it once the Darkness lifts. If you truly love Dog you must continue to refuse.”

Sirius wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“You asked me to write down how I feel about this. Have you read it yet?” Remus asked coolly.

“It’s meant to be a personal journal Remus not some fictionalised distortion of facts!”

It was awful enough expressing it that way. Remus lost his temper. Why couldn’t Sirius stop being so stubborn and try to understand? “I don’t feel love as a werewolf Sirius. There’s an abundance of anger, pain, hunger and hatred but no humour or love. I loathe the human part of myself when the moon is full. That’s why we attack only humans—to destroy our weakness.”

“You’re always a werewolf Remus,” Sirius replied snidely.

“You know what I mean. Stop using pedantics to make it seem as though I’m pushing you away.”

“ **Seem**? I have to make the first move, at everything, and you constantly push me away. There’s always an excuse!”

“Look in the mirror Sirius and see all the excuse I need.”

Remus regretted it instantly but made no effort to stop Sirius leaving. He was at fault, not Sirius. He looked in the mirror. “I’m all the excuse I need. Sirius is my weakness and I just destroyed him. He’s right. I’m always a werewolf.” And he didn’t feel love as a werewolf.

> Dog was enraged by Moony’s refusal to make him a werewolf and turned against their friends for advice they gave. First, he hunted down Stag and fed him to the Darkness. Then he tore Flower out of the soil by her roots and cast her into the Darkness too. Instead of offering Rat to the Darkness, Dog ate him and left nothing but a tiny toe. Moony knew he’d be next. He ran and hid. He began to wonder. Had Dog served the Darkness all along? Had he desired the werewolf and not Moony, hoping to become an even more formidable weapon against the Light? Moony had every reason to be glad he did not grant Dog’s wish yet his heart remained sore.

Dumbledore trod softly through the Forbidden Forest but Remus sensed his approach. The headmaster sighed wearily as Remus glowered at him. “I’m usually more successful at being invisible.”

“I’m usually more successful at avoiding visitors,” Remus replied dully.

“Why did Sirius go after Peter next instead of you?” Dumbledore demanded angrily.

Remus laughed without cheer. “Perhaps, he loves me!” he exclaimed insincerely. His feet wandered in a tight circle but his hands gestured grandly. “Perhaps mass murderer and undercover Death Eater, Sirius Black, actually **loved _me_**!” There were no birds to startle with his roaring fury. No creature cared to share forest space with a werewolf, even without a full moon. Remus crouched among the dead leaves and began to weep. Through stricken eyes he stared at Dumbledore. “Or else he had a worse fate in store for me.”

Dumbledore sat beside Remus, not caring about mud and leaves sticking to his bum. He spoke softly. “You can’t stay here forever Remus. You aren’t a beast.”

“Why did you bring me to Hogwarts?” Remus asked. His voice was crispy and worn, like ancient parchment. “I never belonged here.”

“Yes you did. My mistake was putting you in the same house as Sirius. The Sorting Hat couldn’t sort a werewolf, you see. So certain of my instincts, that the two of you would become friends and bolster each other in these troubled times. I haven’t misjudged a character so greatly since… There are two wizards beneath this tree with lovers imprisoned for life, although not even Grindelwald celebrated murder with laughter.” Dumbledore stood. “Certain memories refuse to fade and I wonder why I failed to tempt him from the darker path. Sirius is in Azkaban, where he belongs. You can’t save him Remus. No-one can.”

> Soul Eaters captured Dog and locked him in their island fortress for killing Rat, Stag and Flower yet Moony did not feel safe. Dog’s evil rode the waves across the sea to crash on every shore. It leaked into rivers and leached into the soil. Moony feared Dog’s evil would seep into his skin and poison his tortured body further. He considered taking a boat to the island fortress on the cusp of a full moon and rending Dog limb from limb until nothing but bloody chunks remained. His heart beat eagerly at the thought. Then it faltered. The transition from boring, ordinary boy to horrifying monster would be complete. Moony stifled the revenge pounding through his blood and sought solace in solitude.
> 
> Twelve years passed. Darkness spread. Moony had no place in the world, or so he believed. The great wizard thought otherwise. “Dog has escaped the Soul Eaters’ fortress. Return to my castle and protect Stag’s son until Dog is recaptured. Serpent is now my loyal servant and knows magic to stop the moon taking your heart and mind when the moon enslaves your body.”
> 
> Serpent had once been Flower’s closest friend but had always hated Moony, Rat, Stag and Dog. “Why would he help me?” Moony asked the great wizard.
> 
> “Serpent hates Dog more than the werewolf you become. Far more,” the great wizard said gravely. He did not say why. Moony knew. Serpent had loved Flower from a seedling. As she grew taller she came to notice Stag who stood grand and tall among the long grass while Serpent was forced to slither along the soil on his belly. Dog caused Flower to wither and die in the Darkness. Serpent was right to hate him. The great wizard’s eyes twinkled. “An ordinary werewolf would not feel compassion for Serpent.”
> 
> Moony and Serpent never became friends. In fact, each only trusted the other because the great wizard trusted them both. Stag’s son closely resembled his parents and eagerly listened to Moony’s memories of Flower and Stag. Moony did not become drunk enough on memories to share his secret although Stag’s son came to confide many secrets of his own. One day Stag’s son stumbled upon Rat in the castle. Rat was alive! Dog had not eaten him! What had happened? Moony could not trust his memory. He must find Dog and see Rat for himself. Stag’s son showed him the way, never suspecting Moony and Dog’s intimate history.
> 
> Dog looked like Moony felt every day since the stranger’s attack—hollow, bitter, furious, and terrified. Moony hugged him. Something broke inside them both when Dog hugged him back. There was no time to fix it. Rat planned to offer Stag’s son to the Darkness as he had sacrificed Flower and Stag. Darkness would devour them all.
> 
> The swollen moon took hold of Moony. Serpent’s magic could not control him now. Serpent bravely placed himself between the werewolf and Stag’s son. The duplicitous Rat disguised himself and ran away. Dog used his own disguise to distract the monster Moony became. Shards of broken hearts became teeth and claws. They bit and tore at each other. Years of anger, resentment, blame, fear and mistakes bled from their wounds. Bones cracked. Fresh scars marked their hearts deeper than old ones. The werewolf hurled Dog to his death and ran.
> 
> The moon waned the and great wizard found Moony on the edge of an abyss.
> 
> “Stag’s son and Dog are alive,” the great wizard told him plainly. Moony took a small step away from the abyss. “Rat is gone. Stag’s son lays no blame at your feet—or paws. He is concerned for you. Also, you are a connection to parents he has never truly known. Do not rob their son of precious memories only you can share.”
> 
> “He has Dog.” And Moony did not.
> 
> “The Soul Eaters still believe Rat is dead and continue hunting Dog,” said the great wizard. “You must help Dog and the boy.”
> 
> “Why? What good am I to either of them?” Moony’s questions tasted bitter.
> 
> The great wizard sighed with great impatience. “Can’t you see why Stag’s son, Dog and their friends love you?”
> 
> “They don’t understand what I am.”
> 
> “No Moony. **You** do not understand what you are. You are no ordinary werewolf. Nor are you an ordinary wizard.”
> 
> “What am I then?” Moony asked angrily. The great wizard softened.
> 
> “You are a chocolate werewolf—terrifying, strong and intimidating yet stubbornly sweet with a warming effect upon one’s soul.”
> 
> This description was so ridiculous that Moony laughed. The sound cracked sharply, like brittle toffee. The great wizard’s eyes shone with parental warmth. Moony took several steps away from the abyss. “I will watch over those I love.”
> 
> The great wizard smiled his approval.

Dumbledore gave Remus a poorly scribbled note from Sirius: _Forgive. Write. Love. I promise all 3. Reciprocate._ Remus did, often. Sirius never let Remus know where he’d been until he moved on. Remus promised to trust and asked Sirius to reciprocate. Sirius replied: _I’m trying_. Remus cried over those two words until the paper disintegrated. He had only himself to blame.

> The great wizard assembled a nest of phoenix to repel the Darkness and hid it in Dog’s miserable childhood home. Dog barged through the nest when he saw Moony. The startled phoenix flocked to the other end of the nest. Dog paid them no heed. “Why are you here?” he barked at Moony.
> 
> “Because you are,” Moony told Dog. “I have sworn to protect you.”
> 
> Dog bared his teeth. “Why?” His bark was sharp and intended to frighten.
> 
> Moony stared into Dog’s angry eyes. “I love you.”
> 
> “Why?” Dog neither bared his teeth nor barked this time, simply asked.
> 
> “You are strong yet stubbornly sweet and warm my soul.”
> 
> Dog welcomed Moony to the great wizard’s phoenix nest and they soon became friends again.

The first official meeting of the reformed Order of the Phoenix had been an utter shambles. There’d been too much conjecture and not enough fact, all overshadowed by memories of those who would forever remain absent. Remus picked up his coat to go. Sirius stopped him by softly saying his name.

“Where are you staying?” Sirius asked.

“Hogsmeade, until my final rent payment expires. I’ve had a few charitable offers I’d rather not accept.”

“Nymphadora,” Sirius suggested with a smirk.

“Among others,” Remus admitted with a grimace. “I’d be glad to accept an offer to stay here, with you, simply because you happen to be staying here yourself. Also it’s **here**.” They both wrinkled their noses in disapproval of the address. Remus plumbed the sadness of Sirius’ eyes. “That lovely bundle of scum Mundungus can enjoy the last few days of my lease if you’d like immediate company.”

“It’s good to see we still share the same taste in friends.” Sirius’ cheeky smile was less than a shadow of the one Remus remembered. The sexy star-like dimple might never return.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were innocent?” Remus whispered through years of sorrow and guilt.

“Look in the mirror Remus and see all the excuse I need.”

Remus nodded with an angry smirk for the floor. “What happened to forgive, love, and trust?” he asked as he looked Sirius in the eye again.

“Those things are a lot easier to do when I can’t look at your face and see that nothing has changed.”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME SIRIUS?” Remus hollered.

“The same thing I always wanted Remus, you. Uninhibited, honest and sincere, phobias and all, just… you.”

“I’m trying,” Remus replied earnestly and finally understood the tears Sirius put into those two words those few lonely months ago. He stepped forward and caressed Sirius’ face with both hands. He locked their eyes together then kissed Sirius’ trembling lips with enough tender affection to knock a dozen Dementors flat. “I love you Sirius, and I’m trying to bring you everything you give to me.”

Sirius swept his thumb through Remus’ tears then kissed those tears like greeting lost children. “Try harder this time.”

Remus kissed his mouth. “I promise.” He kissed Sirius again.

“I love you Remus. You hurt me over and over again and it continues hurting because I continue to love you.”

“It hurts me too. Every time,” Remus assured him. “The smallest bump becomes a dislocation, the merest scratch a gaping wound.”

Sirius’ lips moved over Remus’ neck. Their arms clenched around each other. It had been fourteen years since they last made love and their eagerness made them more ridiculously clumsy than their first time. What didn’t stay flaccid peaked too soon but instead of fighting or feeling embarrassed they laughed over these similarities to their virginal experiences before progressing with patience. They felt happy and safe.

> The Darkness thickened and spread. Moony was thrust into it to find others of his kind and bring them into the light. Dog was left behind to guard the phoenix nest. He felt empty and alone—no different to his island prison. Moony felt empty and alone without Dog by his side. It seemed the great wizard was right and Moony was no ordinary werewolf. He alone craved the Light.
> 
> After many moons he relented and chose to grant Dog’s wish.

They made vigorous, rigorous love in every manner possible until Remus felt the moon pull at his bones. “Sirius,” he said to provide one last chance to escape. Sirius kissed him with passion so fierce it burned. They disengaged their most intimate contact but continued clinging to each other. Remus had taken the wolfsbane potion prepared by Snape. It was less effective than it should have been since he hadn’t been able to take it regularly for almost a year. The two minds swam together. He snapped and tore at himself as much as Sirius. It took overwhelming willpower to stop so Sirius could become Padfoot. The werewolf whimpered and nuzzled its canine companion then licked the wounds it had caused. The conscious remnant of Remus screamed in horror but all he heard was the werewolf’s howl.

> Moony howled once the deed was done. His remorse was severe. Selfish desire had muffled Flower’s wise advice but now he heard her clearly. Who would care for Dog during the bad moons if the werewolf could not?

Remus continued howling after the moon’s influence faded. Sirius hadn’t returned from Padfoot and his wounds showed no signs of healing. What if he was stuck like this—a cursed were-dog? There was so much blood, too much.

Sirius…

> Serpent discovered Moony cowering by the bloodied mess of his disguised lover and summoned the great wizard.
> 
> “Fools! What have you done?” The great wizard’s wrath was immeasurable yet it could not match Moony’s grief.
> 
> “Fix him, please,” Moony pleaded. He sat by Dog as the great wizard removed Dog’s disguise and Serpent stopped the bleeding but their intervention came too late. The unnecessary damage had been done.
> 
> “Do you still love me?” Moony whispered mournfully against Dog’s ear.
> 
> “I don’t know,” said Dog and turned away. Moony expected to die of regret.

“Should I move into your brother’s room or leave the house completely?”

“Am I not good enough now I’m like you?” Sirius asked snidely. He sat in his bed with a tray of hot breakfast cooling on his lap. Blood seeped through bandages covering his left shoulder, right forearm and one side of his neck. There were worse wounds that Remus couldn’t see.

“Trust me Sirius. It isn’t you I hate or blame for what I’ve done.”

Sirius offered no comfort. He turned away and ate his congealed breakfast in silence.

“Why the cold shoulder? You knew what to expect!”

Sirius stooped slightly with guilt.

“You didn’t read the story I wrote for you,” Remus accused quietly.

Sirius faced him again. “I’ve seen you writing in that same notebook I gave you and assumed you’re still fixing it.”

“I can’t change what’s already written, and it’s never been my story but ours. **Our** story isn’t finished yet … Is it?”

Sirius’ fingers and eyes reached for Remus. “No, it isn’t.”

Remus accepted the extended hand and sat beside him. “Promise you’ll try to forgive me?”

Sirius touched the fresh and dried tears staining Remus’ cheeks, left first and then right. “Why wouldn’t I my love?”

Remus summoned the notebook and handed it to Sirius. “Worse is yet to come.” He licked a thumb to moisten some of Sirius’ drying blood then pressed it to the dedication. “Read,” he commanded as the magically masked frontispiece appeared.

Sirius did not hesitate. Remus sat close beside him and held his hand. Sirius would squeeze Remus’ fingers or let go to wipe both hands across his face and swear. He asked a question near the beginning. “Did he rape you?”

“No. I don’t believe he would have, either. But then I only have a child’s perspective.”

“I do still love you,” Sirius said after reading their story so far. “Do you still love me?”

Remus exhaled deeply and examined his hands. “Part of me never stopped,” he admitted before meeting Sirius’ eyes, “which kept me human.”

> Dog finally understood why Moony said no for so long. Their love remained strong until the first bad moon. Serpent’s magic allowed Moony and Dog to keep their minds when the moon forced them into hideous bodies. Moony’s heart broke repeatedly as he witnessed Dog’s suffering through the excruciating transformation. He snuffled sympathetic apologies and tried to show gentle physical affection but the changed Dog snarled and snapped at him. They fought.
> 
> The room was once again a bloodied mess. Dog glared balefully at Moony. “How you must hate me to do this to me.”
> 
> “How you must hate me to demand I do this. I never attacked anyone but myself before. This made me into a monster too.”
> 
> Dog saw the truth of this and let Moony lay beside him. In short time they shared love again, deeper than before. Every smile, touch, whisper and kiss fortified their souls.

Sirius and Remus were sure their lapse of judgement would make Remus more acceptable to other werewolves, particularly if Sirius came with him. Two voices speaking on behalf of the Order should be triply potent. “How many moons until I go out recruiting with Remus?” Sirius asked with his characteristic bold smile and a confident arm draped across Remus’ shoulder.

Dumbledore stared at their blithe ignorance. “Oh no Sirius,” he said blandly. “You have half your wish—Remus will no longer be sent among the werewolves…”

> The great wizard imprisoned them both in the phoenix nest for letting their hearts rule their heads. “Moony was the only one of his kind to successfully live among Muggles and wizards without tasting human flesh. Now that is no longer true…”
> 
> Their guilt and shame were great. Still, they were imprisoned together and the ability to share love in either form made their punishment bearable. Stag’s son was surrounded by a phalanx of phoenix protectors so Moony and Dog felt free to enjoy the intimate solitude provided by the full moon. Their love burned bright enough to prevent the Darkness tainting their hearts and making them weak again.
> 
> Dog’s innocence and capacity for love meant Stag’s son loved him like a brother. The Darkness used this to lure Stag’s son into a trap. The moon sat shadowed and half-formed in the sky so the unnatural lovers flew to set the boy free. The wickedest who ever wielded a wand waited in the shadows for Dog and killed him in front of Stag’s son and Moony. Their horrified grief was insatiable. Stag’s son roared like a furious lion and Moony tried to protect him as Dog would have done. The witch’s hideously cruel laughter led Stag’s son deep into the Darkness. Stag’s son broke free and chased the wicked witch, seeking revenge for the death of Dog, whom he loved as an uncle or older brother. The great wizard had to save him from the Darkness because Moony could not move, only stare at the spot where Dog fell. Love and life ceased to exist. There was no Light.

* * *

There was no memory attached, only desolation, Darkness.

He’d bitten Sirius. Her long-suffering cousin died a werewolf. At least three wizards knew and said absolutely nothing.

Andromeda turned the page, hoping for a reason to forgive.

 

  
_Sirius is dead and I live miserably ever after_

The End

 

Andromeda slowly closed the book, replaced its plain brown paper wrapping, retied the string, and hugged the parcel to her chest. Its wrapping caught and drank her tears.

She’d called Remus a heartless, soulless beast for walking out on her pregnant daughter. He’d snapped that he never should have married Nymphadora in the first place. _“You Blacks are all the same—stubborn, browbeating, manipulative, with arrogance matched only by overwhelming ignorance. You’re a bigger fool than daughter and cousin combined if you let her carry that child to term!”_

The truth behind the fairy tale was a horror story. Teddy must never lay hand or eye on this book. Andromeda penned a letter to that effect and sent it by owl along with the book to Teddy’s godfather.

* * *

James and Teddy knew better than to play quidditch in the Potter house. Or so Harry thought considering the number of injuries they’d incurred. Harry was still crap at healing spells. James sulked in his room after being told off and Teddy asked to read while waiting for his nose to stop bleeding. “That one,” he said and pointed to ‘Chocolate Werewolf’.

Harry had read the fairy tale version of Remus Lupin’s life, many times. Admittedly the unhappy ending was a complete downer but he failed to understand Andromeda’s severe opposition. Since Harry was not born to the House of Black he could not read between the lines. He didn’t see memories living behind the written words. The boy was fifteen. Harry didn’t see any harm…

 

~ End ~


End file.
